Teach Me How to Dougie
I’m finishing this up last minute as I’ve been desperately trying to wrap up grading and empty out my classroom so I can get the hell outta dodge as soon as possible. I know very little about any of these songs and don’t have time to do too much in-depth research, so I’m subjecting you to innuendos, random personal associations, and some pretty crummy metaphors to orient you to today’s match-ups. Grooveshark link is here, vote by 8pm EST Saturday, June 25.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) vs. #15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy)
Thin Lizzy: Eyes on the Prize
“Teach Me How To Dougie” has captured the imagination and interest of tweens across the world, which inspired my friend, a middle school teacher, and the staff of his school to make this video. I think it is at least as good as that Jack Sparrow song.
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) vs. #10 Alors On Danse (Stromae)
If Bone Thugz pulls this one out and Mother Love Bone trumps Gladys Knight in the next round, we’ll totally have a bone-off in the round of 128. Please don’t let that influence your voting.
Stromae is not amused by your puns.
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) vs. #14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips)
Gladys Knight may want to take you on a midnight train to the deep south, but in case you didn’t know (I sure didn’t), Mother Love Bone is just one stop prior to Temple of the Dogtown on the Northwest Express to Pearl Jamopolis. That is a train that Astrid never, ever wants to get on.
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) vs. #11 Lalita (Love Language)
The King of Motown squares off against the Language of Love.
Living the Dream 
I’m admittedly being kind of a hater today, but what can I say, just not into much of today’s music.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 1.5
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 4.5
Maybe I’m just jealous nobody ever taught me how to dougie…
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 2.5
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 2
Was that a kazoo or a duck?
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 3.5
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 7
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 7
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 2
The recording quality on Lolita was killing me. Couldn’t ignore it.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) vs. #15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy): 3/5
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) vs. #10 Alors On Danse (Stromae): 6/4
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) vs. #14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips): 5/7
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) vs. #11 Lalita (Love Language): 7/5
Does it count for me if the memories brought up by songs include watching episodes of The Wonder Years or American Dreams? Yes, I think so. What if it’s 30 Rock?
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Whoops… http://pann.nate.com/video/212505794
Kenneth moments stick in my head
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 3.5
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 5
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 6.25
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) – 3.75
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 4.25
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 7.5
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 7
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 4
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 3
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 4
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 7.5
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 5
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 5.5
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 8
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 7
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 4
dougie: 6.5. Dirty, slow. Fairly original instrumentals for this level of music. Not great, but catchy.
jailbreak: 7. Good song… but… “there’s gonna be a jailbreak SOMEWHERE in this town” uh – probs the jail, amirite?
crossroads: 6. Good, not great. One of those rap songs where there are too many cooks in the kitchen. A verse or two fuckin ruins it.
alors on danse: 7. Catchy, dancy… whatev.
crown thorns: 3.
midnight train: 9. I do NOT dole out high ranks just cuz the songs are “classics” or the singers are “legends,” but this shit lives up to the hype.
hold on me: 6.5 Positive… in fact, very positive, but sort of leaves you once it’s over.
lalita: 5. Cacophony, not in a good way.
tonight…
http://www.explodingdog.com/title/ishouldstoplisteningtothisrecord.html
Teach Me How To Dougie = 7 –> Stupid songs = stupid dance moves but I actually feel good about myself Douging along complete strangers.
Jailbreak = 4
Crossroads = 5 –> nice to see this resurge in da club scene these days.
Alors on Danse = 3
Crown of Thorns = 3
Midnight Train to Georgia = 8 –> Definitely had a moment with the driver next to me at a light BELTING this song.
You Really Got A Hold On Me = 9 –> Smokey, only YOU can write timeless songs.
Lalita = 2 –> you’re up against Smokey, what do you expect?
Teach Me How to Dougie – 7.5 – I like this song, -.3 for seemingly ripping off the cool kids.
Jailbreak – 6.8 – good ole hard rock.
Crossroads – 7.5 – Awesome, I haven’t heard this for a long, long time.
Alors on Danse – 7 – not completely sure what to make of this, definitely catchy.
Crown of Thorns – 7.8 – Nice companion nomination to Hunger Strike (same nominator?), anyway, this song has sentimental value as it reminds me of summer camp circa 1993.
Midnight Train to Georgia – 8.2 – Great tune, great version – classic.
You Really Got a Hold On Me – 7.8 – Another classic.
Lalita – 6.5
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) – 1 – It seems the best part of this song is that they interrupt themselves in the chorus as if they had a stutter. I want to boost the score just for becoming part of today’s culture but I don’t think it really deserves it…
vs. #15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) – 3 –
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) – 3.5 –
vs. #10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) – 4 – Glad to see some language diversity here but what IS making that sound?
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) – 3 –
vs. #14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) – 6 –
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) – 6.5 –
vs. #11 Lalita (Love Language) – 6 –
Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 3
Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 4.5
hard 80’s guitar riff’s win over the dougie.
Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 4
Alors On Danse (Stromae) 2
i thought bone thugz would garner more points but they weren’t as cool as i remember from middleschool. go figure.
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 3.5
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 7
You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 7
Lalita (Love Language) 4.8
glad i listed to lalita, because i was about to vote based on a song by “throw me the statue” of the same name. that ones a lot better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK2zcG7m_IY
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 7.5
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 4
Have I been living under a rock? I think the only time I’ve ever heard this Dougie song is in the Girltalk sample. Generally I don’t like a song as much after I hear a Girltalk sample — it is like going from Munchkin Land back to Kansas. I think this song might be an exception. I kinda dig Dougie.
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 5
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 5
Meh, Crossroads is fine. I wouldn’t change the radio if it came on my station but I’m not downloading it anytime soon either. And a “meh” for Mr. Stromae too. I could probably get really into this on some days but today is not that day.
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 3
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 9
I didn’t like Crown of Thorns. On the other hand, Gladys Knight is probably my favorite Mormon and I love the Pips too. This song makes me happy — I listen to it several times a week and it is a regular song in my shower karaoke rotation.
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 8
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 8
I love Smokey almost as much as I love Gladys. I have wished I was their love child. I would have had so much soul, I would have had to be twins.
But I really really liked this Lalita song too. I’d never heard it before and I’ll be downloading it. Thanks nominator!
Teach Me How to Dougie – 3.0 vs Jailbreak – 7.0
Crossroads – 7.0 – Alors – 7.5
Crown of Thorns – 3.0 vs Midnight Train – 8.5
You Really Got a Hold – 9.0 Lalita – 2.0 But I prefer Mike & The Mechanics on Really Got a Hold
Teach Me – 3.0 vs Jailbreak 6.75 – Dougie was stupid, boring and emotionless. Jailbreak may not be great music but has some life and feeling.
Crossroads – 5.5 vs Alors – 4.5 – Crossroads was different; had some good moments but not something I would want to hear often. Alors was mostly annoying.
Crown of Thorns – 3.5 vs Midnight Train – 8.1 – Crown wasn’t much of anything to listen to. Gladys is good. Real good!
You Really Got a Hold – 8.0 vs Lalita – 2.0 Love the song (Hold) but like other versions more. Lalita – I’ve heard bandsaws that sound better.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 2
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 8.5
Fuck the dougie, and fuck John Wall for making sports center play it 900,000 times when I wanted to find out how the Bruins and Celtics played the night before.
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 5
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 2
Voulez-vous coucher avec mois, Clyde?
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 7.5
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 6
Really liked Crown of Thorns – picking that badboy up later. Usually love Midnight Train, but it just didn’t have quite the energy for me tonight.
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 6.3
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 5
Your Really Got is a fantastic song, just not quite what I wanted. Agree with Danno on the recording of Lalita – I think I actually like the song, but it was bugging the hell outta me.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) – 3
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) – 3.5
I do like songs that teach a dance move but when you listen to Dougie there isn’t much to it. Orce’s comment about the jailbreak probably happening at the, you know, jail cracked me up, but also pretty much ruined the song for me. Whaaat a stupid lyric.
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) – 5 Kind of nostalgic to hear this but it’s just average.
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) – 7.5 I think this was a relief after the blah of the last 3 songs.
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) – 1
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) – 4
I gave Crown of Thorns a 2, but then checked to see how much longer it was and it had three more minutes to go. It’s a song that sounds like exactly what it is–inexperienced musicians writing early in their careers. I’m sure it has some interest to die-hard Pearl Jam fans, but it’s so musically simple and unoriginal that I can’t give it points, really.
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) – 6
#11 Lalita (Love Language) – 6.5
couple nice selections from bone thugs
it’s about to be a muthafuckin massaca
http://www.thefader.com/2010/04/28/bone-thugs-n-harmony-everytime-mp3/
Cali Swag District, Teach Me Dougie: 4.5
Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak: 3.5
Bone Thugz N Harmony, Crossroads: 4
Stromae, Alors On Danse: 7.5
Mother Love Bone, Crown of Thorns: 2.5
Gladys Knight And The Pips, Midnight Train To Georgia: 9
Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, You Really Got A Hold Of Me: 6.5
Love Language, Lalita: 7
Alright, everyone I’m with guest-voted so scores are G-mo/GGT/Paul/Smiller/Rhino/Gabe
Dougie 4.8/9.7/7/8/9/-
Jailbreak 2/4/5/6/6/-
Crossroads 7/9.4/6/8/10/-
Alors on Danse 7.8/3.7/7/4/2/-
Rhino swore by Crossroads. Paul and I are still running this European song on a loop. Being on the Jersey Shore helps this score.
Crown Of Thorns 3.8/4/3/2.5/3.42/3
Midnight Train to Georgia 8.5/7/8/8.5/8/8
Hold On Me 6/8/4/-/7.5/6
Love Language 6.5/7/6/-/5.5/6
This really is the weirdest set of matchups yet. Not really into it, except for Gladys, obvi.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 1
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 3
I don’t think that Dougie has any place in a music tournament. It should be kept for heavy tequila nights and played after the Macarena has warmed up the crowd. Jailbreak is at least a proper song.
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 3.5
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 4
Wow, I’m not into this round at all. My friends and I used to make fun of Crossroads. A lot. I’m clearly not past that yet. What is that instrument on Alors? Whatever it is, this is – tragically – my favourite song of this round so far…crazy days.
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 3
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 9
How on earth is Gladys 14 seed given the rest in this division?! Craziness. In context, I want to give it 9 million, but I think my enthusiasm is just amplified in this context. Will try to contain it. Crown is rock-by-numbers uninspiring.
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 5
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 4
Hold On Me wasn’t nearly as smooth as I’d remembered. Lalita is so grainy but at least it woke me up.
Your Gladys comment made me laugh aloud. Thanks for that!
Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 3.5
Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 8
I don’t mind the chorus of Dougie in like a clip or people dancing to it, but it gets old quick in the whole song.
Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 7
Alors On Danse (Stromae) 5
Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 5
Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 6.5
You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 7
Lalita (Love Language) 4
Teach Me How to Dougie – 4
vs. Jailbreak – 4
Crossroads – 6
vs. Alors –5
Crown of Thorns –
vs. Midnight Train – 8.5
You Really Got a Hold – 8.5
vs. Lalita – 2
Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) vs. Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) = 6.5 to 2.5
I like how minimal ‘Dougie’ is – ‘The Boys are Back in Town’ is one of the greatest songs ever, while ‘Jailbreak’ is one of the worst 😦
Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) vs. Alors On Danse (Stromae) = 5 to 7
i like bone thugz, but except for the part where he misses his uncle charles, not so much into this tune. i like this stromae tune! french? west african? who are these guys?
Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) vs. Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) = 8 to 6
THIS ISN’T THE FULL VERSION OF CHLOE DANCER/ CROWN OF THORNS!! oh well. Love rock, baby.
You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) vs. Lalita (Love Language) = 9 to 8
Whoa! Tough match up – never heard Love Language before.
teach me how to dougie – 1 (is this a song?? i will admit that i would like someone to teach me how to dougie, though…)
jailbreak – 6.5
crossroads – 7
alors on danse – 7.5
crown of thorns – 4.5
midnight train to georgia – 6
you really got a hold on me – 4
lalita – 6
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 6
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 4.5
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 6.5 [remember when they got nominated for all those MTV awards and got all dressed up, and then didn’t win any? yeah.]
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 4.4
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 3
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 7 [started as a 10 and but slipped as it went on]
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 4 [average to boring smokey. I honestly wanted to give this higher].
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 9.5
I’m voting from Bethany Beach and today I have a guest judge: my friend Izzy, who happens to teach chorus at my old high school, so she knows what she’s talking about music wise.
#2 Teach Me How To Dougie (Cali Swag District) 8/6
#15 Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) 6/8
#7 Crossroads (Bone Thugz N Harmony) 4/8
#10 Alors On Danse (Stromae) 4/4 moi, je m’en fiche
#3 Crown Of Thorns (Mother Love Bone) 4/5
#14 Midnight Train To Georgia (Gladys Knight And The Pips) 8/9
#6 You Really Got A Hold On Me (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) 8/8
#11 Lalita (Love Language) 5/6
Hey Jacob, where did our votes go? Should I vote again? I’m so confused.